Date 24- TOO MUCH TO SOON

Date 24- Too deep too fast

Now we have had "to much too fast" and we have had "just to fast" but "TOO DEEP TOO FAST" is a new one for me. I have never been almost brought to tears on a date in my life, but I guess there is a first time for everything. Let me explain:

This is a new bachelor who I have had to reschedule our date three times due to scheduling conflicts, illness etc. Needless to say there was a lot of build up to this date and I honestly was not in the mode to be "dating" on this particular evening but I sucked it up and put on my big girl pants and went out. I met him at an old standby restaurant, Chili's! I used to LOVE this place but as I have graduated from OCU I feel as if I have also graduated from Chili's. It just doesn't do it for me anymore.

So after the initial chit chat of any first date about general topics, I decided to just jump right in and ask a very easy opening question that could take the conversation anywhere. I said,"so what's your story?" Now this bachelor didn't hesitate to provide me with a detailed description of his attributes mirroring his profile online. Normally this is not the expected answer to this questions. I was more aiming for info like: job, family, hobbies, friends, etc. I should of known then that this was just the beginning of the deep conversation we were about to embark on.

From here I got to relive my mother's battle with breast cancer as he shared the tragic story of his mothers death from the same disease along with a philosophical discussion regarding Catholicism in relation to my moral believes. Sounds like a bit much for Chili's right....

I will admit it was a very interesting conversation but not something I am looking for on a first date. First dates are meant to see if there is a potential connection to potentially move to the next layer of a person...not to go straight to the core and expose everything.

Lesson Learned: Too deep too fast is a turn off for most people if the connection isn't naturally there. In this case, it wasn't. I hate to say all of the stuff like he was a really nice guy but not for me stuff but in this case it is very true.

Date 25 recap will follow....one more date to 26!

Date 22 and 23

I need to apologize! I have gotten very behind on the blog b/c my neighbor put a password on their internet...boo! So yesterday I bit the bullet and got my own.

Date 22: Date 22 came with a bit of pressure b/c it was the bachelor's birthday! I left the evenings plans up to him and he decided to invite me over to watch some football! As many of you know, I am totally the type of girl who loves that kind of date so I was totally game. The only real variable in this was the birthday component. I decided that my best play would be to show up with Sara Sara Cupcakes to celebrate. There were a huge hit, but we had to run out and buy milk to go wit them. This guy has been moving slow and steady but he did pick up the pace at bit with this date, if you get the picture. (nothing crazy...lol).

Date 23: This is the first out of town date. I have debated whether to count it but feel like it had all the components of a date and deserves a mention on the blog. Details will be very limited on this on though..just forewarning you all.

I had the opportunity to meet a gentlemen while I was traveling for work and made a quick connection. We hung out throughout the week and got to know each other pretty well. The official date is going to be counted on the last night when we went out for drinks together and enjoyed some live jazz.

Sorry for the lack of details but this one will remain unspoken about, at least on the blog.

ALMOST HALF WAY THERE!! :)

Date 21......low key evening

Date #21-

Date 21 was a repeat date with the same slow but steady dater from earlier dates. From my experience with this bachelor on previous dates, I could tell he would be slow to make any sort of move and the atmosphere had to be just right or he would chicken out.

So, I took it upon myself to propose a low pressure date of dinner and an on-demand movie at his apartment. (would of offered mine up but you all know i am a disaster and can't keep the damn thing clean). I was actually suppose to meet him at his house at 7pm but I woke up from an evening nap at 6:30 so confused at where I was, where I had to be and what day it was. It took me a few minutes to reorientate myself and get focuses on my date.

I met him at his apartment and we went straight for Chinese food! Honestly, I had been craving it for weeks so I was totally excited about it. Dinner conversations was great as usual and we planned to head back to his immaculately clean apartment to watch a movie.

As i mentioned in a previous blog, this kid is a slow but steady dater and this date proved no different. It took 45 minutes into the movie for him to even attempt to hold my hand. I laugh at this but at the same time love how genuine the entire process has been with this guy. After the completion of the movie, I waited around 20-30 minutes to give him time to get up the courage to kiss me, but he didn't. So, I threw in the towel and put my shoes on and headed out the front door. I turned around to give him a good bye hug....this has become normal for us, and he held on longer than previous hug encounters and gave me a good night kiss that was truly innocent and sweet. Nothing huge but enough to show we were making progress.

Ok...so as many of you know this bachelor is still very unaware of this 52 in 52 dating adventure and I am not sure I can break it to him this late in the game. So many of you feel that I need to tell the guy but I have decided to keep this secret and not share. My reasons:

1) because i don't want to tell him

2) other bachelors saw the 52 in 52 as a green light for fast paced dating, this guy is moving at his own speed and I don't want to interrupt that now

3) he has never asked a question that would allow me to bring it up naturally.....so i haven't

4) its makes it more real if he doesn't know

I realize these are not the best reasons, but i am gonna go with them!

Potential for two dates this weekend, so stay tuned!

DAte 19 and 20

Date 19 and 20.....

#19- Can you say...TO MUCH TO EARLY

Date #19 was a guy I met on one of the online dating sites I joined. His original message seemed harmless so I started to communicate with him through email and instant messaging. We traded commonalities (which through this process I have found you have with EVERYONE at some level). Now, not to my knowledge but this bachelor was sizing me up and was very vocal about his feelings. I believe before we even met in person, he sent me a message saying that I was perfect and he was beginning to plan MORE THAN JUST THE FIRST DATE! Now although this was a sign of crazy, I let it go and continued to plan our date. Honestly, by the time the date came I felt like I was going to let this guy down because he had gotten caught up with the idea that I was a goddess or something.

During the date, he talked the entire time. Now, I have been looking for a man who will steer the conversation but holy cow....can I talk? At about the 3 hour mark I interrupted Date #19 with the following statement: "Over the course of the night, 70% of our conversation has been centered around your job. Do you have a balance problem in your life?" Now...you can be the judge if this was rude or not, but honestly he responded with "YES..and I am glad you called me on it". Even when I am rude, this guy thinks I am fantastic! I could of spit on the table and he would of thought it was endearing.

It makes me laugh that all this guy could talk about how much he wants to get to know me and I think he asked me 3 total questions throughout the night. For those of you that know me, my job is pretty interesting and a conversation starter. Apparently NOT with this bachelor.

Ok..here is the part that I felt VERY GUILTY. We were walking Bricktown in the rain and he kept talking about how perfect I was and how i fit everything that he was looking for..blah blah blah. Then he said..." i just keep wondering, what are you not telling me." Now, when he said this all i could think about was this blog and the 52 in 52 dating adventure that he has unknowingly become a part of. GUILT! But apparently not enough for me to come clean....

Lesson Learned: When the guy is in love with you before he meets you in person, that is an issue! RED FLAG ALERT!

Date #20- SLOW and STEADY

Date #20 is a repeater....he is actually the only guy to reach the forth date mark with me. We went to the fried food center of OKC. The Oklahoma STATE FAIR! I have never attended the OK State Fair so this was a new experience for me. Date #20 was a veteran and knew exactly where to find the fried cheese, fried oreos and root beer stand. Now, I ordered a frozen banana on a stick covered in chocolate and peanut butter. Although DELICIOUS, a bit awkward to eat on a date as one would imagine. This could of taken the date to the gutter but we both tried to keep it clean. (as much as possible when you eat a banana on a stick).

After dining the games ensued. A challenge was made and the goal was to win a stuffed animal. The loser had to carry the stuffed animal and bring it home. Now...of course..I schooled him at the state fair games. I can say...I WON THE STATE FAIR. Now, DAte #20 is an architect and was hesitant to ride the rides because of the fact that they are taken apart and put together together on a weekly basis. Although a valid point, I still called him out for being lame and convinced him to go on at least the bumper cars.

We had a great time and progress was made dating process, so I am hopeful to see this guy again. Although he is a slow moving...he is steady and I am learning to appreciate it.

Lesson Learned: Don't eat anything on a stick on a date and enjoy the journey, no need to rush everything.

Ok......we will be taking a week off for work. So keep come back and visit in October!

The Good, the Bad Date 17 and 18 RECAP

First off, I need to apologize for how long it has taken me to post about my dates last week. I am getting bad about posted about these dates and I know you are all so interested...so i promise to get better. lol

Date 18 Recap: THE BAD

This date might qualify as the worst 45 minutes of my life! That being said, this date is very difficult to describe. I am giving the online dating thing a try, and this date demonstrated to me why some people should not be allowed to use the internet.

I could recap all of the details of why this fella was miserable company but I won't. To paint the picture, if was as if i was interviewing a 12 year old boy for a class project. The conversation was rough from start to finish. After 45 minutes, i decided to just rip of the band-aid and end the misery for both of us. I believe is said the following:

"it was nice to meet you but i don't feel like we are in the same place. good luck with school and everything you are working on but I think i am going to go ahead and go. have a good night"

I feel terrible but i think it was better for everyone for me not to get this kids hopes up that this would go some where. Honesty is the best policy.

Date 19 Recap: Was this really a date??

First off, this bachelor was well aware of the 52 in 52 dating adventure but i am pretty sure doesn't want to have anything to do with it. (or at least he doesn't want to be blogged about). I will say it was different than any of my other dates b/c not only did the bachelor already know about the 52 in 52 but he already knew me.

Date #19 asked me to go with him to see Jerry Seinfeld at the Civic Center, I will say right now, this was the best date activity to date!

The environment was pretty electric because everyone in attendance was ready to laugh!

And we all know how bad my laugh can be...but i held it together.

Something new...running into people i know while i am on a 52 in 52 date. This has now happened a few times and it is funny to see if people i know will come up and

say hello. Now at this point, most of the bachelors have known about this dating adventure but currently many of the bachelors do not. So this could prove to blow up in my face if

someone says something at a moment they shouldn't. Oh well, I guess i will deal with that one when the time comes.

DAte #18 still will swear that the evening didn't count as a date but it totally did. Out of respect for this shy dater,we will leave out the rest of the date details. But...it was a date! :)

Two more this week both from online dating sites, sooooo they could be interesting....keep reading!

Date 16 Wrap Up

Date #16 is proving for me to be hard to describe. A few words that come to mind:

-easy

-relaxing

-laid back

-comfortable

-fun

-intelligent

Date #16 and I have gone out three times and it has been full of great conversation every time. He is so respectful of me and allows me to take the lead on just about everything. Although that is flattering and the way a women should be treated, sometimes a girl wants to be led. I have figured out that I am such a go getter when it comes to everything else in my life that I may be looking for someone else to take the reigns when it comes to dating.

Now in regards to Date #16, if he asked me out again I would be more than happy to go. Has he attempted to make any kind of physical connection at this point. No. I am not sure if this goes along with the respectful thing or not. I realize that I can rush into some of these things, so this slowed down pace might be good for me.

Who knows! What will happen! I have one of the 10 wedding of 2009 this weekend ( the reason I started this whole thing) so maybe i can find Date #17.

because

Keep reading..you know i am going to keep dating!

DAte 16 Predate Interview

This pre-date interview is brought to you by my favorite Canadian!

1) Who referred date # 16 to you? he is a repeat!

2 Have you done any background check on date #16? (facebook, myspace, twitter etc.) Actually, there has been little of this type of research conducted on this fella. I must be slacking

3) Does date #16 have any nicknames that you know of? like a nickname i have given him, or one that his friends use? Nothing I know of but I have referred to him as "the architect"

4) Are you running out of options for date activities in OKC? not yet, but I am a bit sick of Bricktown. Glad i am headed to western for tonight's date!

5) What is your worst pet peeve when it comes to dating? honestly, It feels like I am always leading the conversation. Either I talk to much or boys don't like to talk. I bet it is a bit of both...lol

6) Say you are at dinner and the check comes, who is reaching for it? I play this one by year. Most of the time I see where the waiter choses to set it. They normally set it with the bachelor. So...i just wait it out. I have paid a few times and offered numerous times. But no matter what..it always seems awkward!

7) If the date goes well, how long do you wait before scheduling a re-date? no written rule here. this is not a reality show and I have never read "THE RULES"

8) If you went on a “date” with a gay male would that still count towards the total 52? sadly no, one of the requirements was that he be straight.

9) If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "well played MJ!"

Ok folks, heading for my favorite pizza tonight on WEstern! Wish me luck with a 3 peat. This is the third guy to 3 peat but nobody has made it to the fourth!