Thursday, June 17, 2010

Lesson Learned

It has taken me quite a while to get up the nerve to write this last blog. Honestly, I am not sure how to adequately express all of the lessons I have learned not only about dating, but about myself as a person. I will try my best to illustrate them here, but know I could never do justice to the year that I just had.

First off, a few stats for all you crazy folks:
  • TOTAL # of Different Bachelors: 33
  • TOTAL # of Bachelors that Got a 2nd Date: 8
  • TOTAL # of Bachelors that Got a 3rd Date: 4
  • TOTAL # of Bachelors that got more than just a 6
  • Most Creative Date Activity: Date 45
  • Dates I could of Lived Without: I can think of 3 dates that I wished never happened, if you read the blog you can figure those out on your own.
  • Total # of Engineers:3
Let me know if there are other stats that you are looking to know from my 52 in 52 journey and I would be more than happy to share.

Everyone in the past few weeks have asked me what I have learned or taken away from the past year. Here is what I got:
  • It is easy to complain about being single when you are sitting at home not doing anything about it. The hard part comes when you have to accept being single even if you are dating.
  • There are hundreds of people that I could "date" but there is a huge difference between a date and a relationship.
  • I may not know who I want to be with forever, but I now know some things that I won't accept in a partner.
  • I'm no longer afraid of the process. You can make dating as easier or difficult as you choose. It's up to you.
  • I would of never admitted to having a poor self image or self esteem before this experience, but looking back over the course of this journey I realize how much value women put into the opinion of others about themselves. I no longer let others dictate my self-worth/ image. I'm a pretty cool chick!
  • I am reminded of a quote: "When you drop the ball, it never bounces back as high" I had very minimal requirements for a potential bachelor. I dropped my standard this year and never regained the lost ground. Although is was a somewhat "game" is is important that I remember what my standards are.
  • Don't dictate to others if someone is good enough for them or not. Let them decide. If you don't provide the opportunity for me to make decisions for myself about a person by not introducing us, I will never learn to make a decision in general.
  • Time is valuable. Choose carefully the people you choose to share it with because you can't get it back.
To go this entire journey and come out on the other side just as single as I began could appear to be a failure. I have the right to be frustrated, upset, and even angry. But I am none of those things. I am wiser. I am stronger. I am ready. Ready for idea. That is the beauty of it.

A week after I completed my dates, I decided to celebrate with some friends! Any excuse for a new outfit. I headed to the mall on a Saturday at 2pm (the busiest time of day). Now many of you know that I am a creature of habit, so I park in the same section of the parking lot every time. It is what I know. It is what is comfortable.

I spent the next 20 minutes circling the parking lot looking for an open space. Up and down every aisle with hopes of an opening. I would race other cars to follow shoppers as they exited to their cars only to be outmaneuvered. I would spot and then realize it was just a silly motorcycle. I debated on just parking illegally, as many others had done before me. I even went to back corner to see if I could find a spot that nobody else wanted.

But......I waited. I continued to circle knowing eventually that something would pop open and I would be at the right place at the right time. I wasn't in a huge rush so I just keep looking. And to my shock, as I drove up the row right in front of the door, the front space opened up and I was the only one around. I pulled right in and walked the few steps to the mall entrance.

As I walked into the mall, I laughed. I realized that my timeline to find the right spot (or man) is my own and if I wait long enough and don't settle for less, that the spot that is meant for me will free up. I just need to be ready to park and shop once I found it.

What a year!

Mary Jo

1 comment:

  1. Wow very well put Mary Jo! You have to be ready and the stars must align (haha corny I know).

    Sometimes you just aren't ready for whats staring you right in the face! Hi, I married someone I have known since middle school.

    Congrats on doing this, I admire the courage you HAD to have had to go on 33 first dates in a year.